Anchorage's M.A. Hot Dogs Mike Anderson head to be burned by L.A. Laker Cap; Hot Dog Jeep driver gains no advantage
Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 3:06PM
Wasilla, Alaska, by 300

My last stop in Anchorage was Stewart's Photo and when I stepped out the door, I felt pretty hungry. I had been wondering where I should pick up lunch before heading home, but suddenly my nose was struck by the wonderful aroma of hot dogs and onions on the grill.

The scent came from M.A. Hot Dogs, an outdoor stand that operates only during the time of light. All indecision left me - I knew that was where I had to go. There is no lunch to be had in Anchorage that I enjoy more than M.A. Hot Dogs. M.A. has reindeer dogs, M.A. has beef dogs, M.A. has Polish dogs, Kosher dogs, all cooked just like you see here and all, oh, so good!

The guy behind me ordered his reindeer dog with no onions.

"You want no onions, tripled?" owner Mike Anderson asked him. "Okay, that'll be no onions, tripled."

The guy, who appeared to be a tourist, looked flummoxed. "No," he protested. "I don't want the onions tripled. I want no onions at all."

"Right," Anderson agreed, "no onions tripled."

The guy didn't get it, but he didn't get onions, either, so I hope he was happy.

Another guy asked Anderson who he had betted on during the NBA playoffs, the Boston Celtics or the L.A. Lakers. Anderson answered that he was going to have to wear a Laker cap for a full-day. He had no choice. You lose a bet, you lose a bet. "That's going to burn a hole right through my head," he said.

About that time, these two little dogs came walking by as another observed from a parked truck.

I should note that Anderson has sign posted under his umbrella boasting that his hot dogs have been voted best in Anchorage, by M.A. Hot Dogs.

After I left M.A. Hot Dogs, still savoring my lunch, I traveled west down Fourth Avenue toward Cook Inlet for a couple of blocks, then took a left until I came to Sixth Avenue, then turned east onto the three one-way lanes to begin the drive back to Wasilla. 

I had barely entered the middle lane on Sixth when this pretty red jeep raced up behind me, practically ran atop my bumper, then careened around me to the right. The driver then shot past me and jerked into the small space that separated me from the driver ahead. In an instant, he was on that driver's tail and then he careened around him as well.

I watched in amazement, wondering why no cop ever seems to be present when this kind of thing is happening, as he careened, weaved and jerked his way through the traffic ahead, charging back and forth across all three lanes of traffic.

But you know what? Without ever speeding up or doing anything to try to cut the distance between us, but just riding with traffic, I found myself right alongside him about two miles down the road and took this picture.

What this image does not show is that the driver is swaying from the left to the right in his lane, looking for the next chance to careen his way around somebody and blast forward. I am now in the left lane, he is in the middle.

He has been driving like this for two miles or so and has gained no advantage.

Finally, he gets his break, races around the pickup truck and speeds ahead of all the rest of us. If you were to click on this picture and blow it up, you would barely be able to make out a traffic light up ahead. The light was red when I reached it and, yes, there was this guy, sitting there waiting, just one car length ahead of me.

When the light turned green, he shot off again, zagging, zigging, doing all that he could to pass everyone whom it was possible to pass. When we reached the next light, same thing - there he was, one car length ahead.

The next light was the last traffic light in Anchorage, so I thought maybe he would now zoom down the highway, zigging in and out of traffic and finally leave me behind.

This didn't happen. Not far down the road, he took an exit off the highway into an Anchorage neighborhood. By now, I had observed his antics for a good four miles or more and he had gained no practical advantage at all - maybe two car lengths, max.

 

ps: The Gold Mint hike is still coming - Wednesday, not later than noon. I hope.

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