I have a new and improved blog now. Here is the address...

http://www.logbookwasilla.com

One, then two, and finally three boys bring the year - and this blog - to an end

I figure I might as well end this blog with a picture of Jobe, bathed in the light of the season.

I will make another post tomorrow, once the new blog is up, with a link that will take you to it.

I have fallen way short of my original goals with this blog, but still it has been fun and I think I have created a different kind of record than you will find anywhere else.

I plan to have even more fun with the new blog. It's not going to solve all the problems I have with this one, but I hope it will be a step in the right direction. It might not last that long, before I try something else. On the other hand, maybe I can build on it and make it do the job.

I thank all of you have followed this blog. I hope you join me in the new one.

Oh, hell!

I might as well add one more of Kalib loving Thomas the Train, HO scale, on Christmas night.

Damnit!

It doesn't seem right to feature his two older brothers and then leave Lynxton out.

So here he is: Lynxton, named for the wild cat that came to his mother and eldest brother shortly before he was born.

Lynxton - Alaska born member of the Navajo Nation, also one-quarter Apache and one quarter the mix that is me.

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This, plus one more day, and then I will push this blog into the past to make way for the new one

Counting today, this blog has two more days and then it is done. I plan to begin a new one Sunday, January 1, 2012.

Between now and then, I will spend more than the usual amount of time working on my blog - but not this blog - the next blog - which I have yet to set up or to even figure out how to set up.

I have been taking plenty of pictures - would you believe over 1000 frames today? - but I will keep today's entry and tomorrow's final entry very simple and short, so as to free up time to figure out how to begin anew.

I chose this picture from Thursday's very late morning breakfast at Abby's Home Cooking for one reason - to thank the anonymous blog reader who bought it for me.

I did question Abby to see if I could get some clues as who this anoymous gifter might be. I learned that she likes horses - and that gives me a pretty good idea. Still, there are numerous people who like horses and so, having a strong suspicion as to who it might be but not a certain knowledge, I will just say:

Thank you, anonymous gifter who likes horses.

Thursday's breakfast was very good: ham, eggs over easy, hashbrowns and, for desert, homemade wheatbreak and homemade rhubarb-apricot jam.

Kalib, birthday #4 - Thomas was there

Kalib, on his fourth birthday, as shot with the iPhone 3gs.

My friends, I am too tired to write anything tonight.

But if you are a regular here, then you know all about Kalib already. If you are not, and you are curious, go exploring. You can find images and stories about him from his birth to the present. I would start with yesterday's post, so that you will know something about his relationship with Thomas the Train as well.

If you are old friends or family or even if you just got here and you would like to see more images from his fourth birthday party, then go to the slide show. I have put 22 Kalib birthday pictures there, including this one.

I did bring one of my regular DSLR's to the birthday party, but, alas, I had forgotten to put a compact flash card in it.

So I borrowed Margie's iPhone. I had my own iPhone, but the lens in it is terribly degraded. Today or tomorrow, I plan to buy an iPhone 4s, because the camera in it is a few cuts above this one. I need to buy it this year, so that it will qualify as a business expense for 2011.

If you think seriously about it, it is something to be able to get even these very noisy images out of an outdated phone.

This time of year, it is very dark in Jacob and Lavina's house. Not so long ago, when I was shooting film, I could not have taken this image at all - not with available light, anyway - not in color. Even the highest speed color film would not have recorded it.

Pushed hard, the highest speed black and white would have, but the grain would have exceeded the noise level here. I would have still shot it available light, on high-speed, black and white film push developed to the max. Rather than use flash, I would have pushed it and would have gone for the impressionistic effect.

I have done the same thing here, in iPhone color. Pushed the sensor to its max, going for the impressionistic effect - pretty much the only effect available to me, but I don't care. I am happy with it. I just love to take pictures, period.

I will go for the noisy, impressionistic image with feeling over the perfectly clear, grainless-noiseless, static, feelingless image anytime.

Anyway, enough technical stuff. Now I invite you to view:

the slide show of Kalib's fourth birthday party

And yes, you will see: Thomas was there big time, even if not in HO scale.

Niece Sujitha of India brings a new Thomas the Train into our lives - along with a huge amount of excitement; Jobezilla goes on the rampage

This is Sujitha Ravichandran, who became my niece after the second daughter of my sister Mary Ann married Suji's first cousin, Vivek Iyer. I attended the Bangalore wedding of Vivek and Khena and it was there that I met Suji - and her sister, Soundarya.

As I have written before, Soundarya, or Sandy, as she often liked to be called, and I bonded instantly. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, we kept in near constant communication; I called her Muse and returned to India to be there for her when she married Anil Kumar. After my return back to the US, we again resumed our online communications for another year-and-a-half - until that black day just over 13 months ago when she answered the accidental death of her husband with the intentional death of herself.

Soundarya and Sujtha had been extremely close. Sandy called Suji "Barbie" and Suji called Soundarya, "Soundu." Soundu - such a beautiful, sweet, affectionate nickname!

In times of tragedy, unspeakable heartbreak and bitter grief, one turns to any source of comfort one can find. Without a doubt, we both had others, but Suji and I did turn to each other - and in ways that we could have turned to no others. We made a pact to keep the lines of communication open between us 24 hours a day, seven days a week, all month long, 12 months a year.

I began to sleep with my phone, to ensure that I would not miss her should she call.

We conversed at any hour of the day or night. We shed many tears together, and groped to find answers where answers could not be found. She, a Hindu, and me, a lapsed Mormon Christian, found solace and faith in the spirits of each other.

Had it not been for Suji, I do not know how I would have got through these past 13 months. She has always been there for me, even if weeping, and I for her.

As we communicated, Suji came to better know my family - my family also being her family - and she fell in love with every member. She grew a deep fondness for Margie and the grandsons, Jobe in particular.

Last spring, she left Bangalore for London to be with her fiance, Manoj Biradar, who she plans to marry in a formal Hindu ceremony in March - and I plan to be there.

She was able to get a better paying job in London than any she had ever had in India, and so did Manu. Yet, life is a financial challenge for them, particularly with the wedding coming up.

So I was a bit stunned when she told me that she was wiring a generous cash gift to my bank in Wasilla, as a Christmas present for Margie and me.

It was the first Christmas present that she had ever given, she informed me. She worried that it might not be up to American standards of Christmas, but she wanted to give something that Margie and I could enjoy together - dinner out, perhaps. Something that would bring us joy - and if her gift brought a bit of joy to the family at large, so much the better.

Now I will tell you about Sujitha's gift, and show you how it impacted our Christmas, 2011:

I was a little bit lost as to how to spend that money, but I wanted the gift to encompass more than a dinner or two or three or four for Margie and me. Someday, we will accept the treat of dinner from Sujitha - in person, when we can all sit at the table together, Manoj, too. I wanted this gift to be something that could bring pleasure to the whole Hess family - joy that I could photograph and then share through the photos with her.

Something that my entire family enjoys is... Kalib, Jobe and Lynxton, whether we call them grandsons, sons, or nephews. We all enjoy these boys like crazy.

And Kalib and Jobe enjoy Thomas the Train. I will bet anything that it won't be long before Lynxton does, too. Kalib and Jobe have little wooden Thomas the Train engines and cars, tracks, and other Thomas the Train toys.

Those wooden toys are just right for them. They are rugged and tough. They can be grabbed and thrown, run over, driven off cliffs; they are a perfect fit to be grasped by hands that have yet to develop fine motor skills.

As regular readers know, I am an HO train modeler of sorts. I don't have the kind of elaborate setup that many serious electric train enthusiasts do, but, after I lost my first black cat, Little Guy, I was extremely distraught and since he loved to chase and pounce on electric trains, I built an HO scale electric railroad in his honor at about the seven-foot level on my eight-foot office walls.

I had never seen an HO Thomas train set, but I figured they must exist. To make a long story short, after some searching both online and on the ground, I found a Thomas the Train HO set at the Hobbycraft store in the Dimond Mall. It was priced a little higher than Suji's gift, but not by much. By adding $34.00 of my own, with Margie's full approval, I was able to purchase it.

On Christmas Day, I was the one who handed out the gifts, one by one. I had a plan for Suji's gift. I was going to hold it until near the end. Then I planned to stop, explain how Suji had given a gift of cash and had left it up to me as to what to buy and that I had decided that everyone could get some pleasure out of a Thomas the Train, HO scale.

I would explain my plans to keep it at the house and when the boys came out and wanted to play with it, I would set it up and we would all have fun. I knew that Kalib would want to take it home, but I planned to explain that it was a gift to us all and was too fragile to be played with in the rough style of little boys, especially "Jobezilla," but we would all have a good time with Thomas the HO train here at the house.

Yet, I had barely begun the gift distribution when Jobezilla hurled himself into action, grabbed the paper that I had wrapped Sujitha's gift in and ripped off a large section. Kalib's eyes went wide. "Thomas!" he shouted.

Kalib has not fully grasped the spirit of Christmas giving. His strategy this year was to refuse to open any gift until someone else started to open it and then if he saw something he liked, to claim it for himself. Thus, he had claimed a very cute stuffed dog meant for Lynxton and then when he had to yield it to his baby brother had wept bitterly.

Now, before I could begin my little speech about his Aunt Sujitha, her generous gift and my master plan, Kalib ripped off the remainder of the wrapping paper.

I now tried to give my speech, but it fell on preoccupied ears. In Kalib's mind, the HO Thomas the Train was now his. It was not a gift from the aunt he had never met and could not visualize; it was not a gift from grandpa. It had been bestowed upon him by natural order of the universe. It was his and no one else's.

Thus, he grew very angry when I returned Thomas, still in the unopened box, to my office for safe keeping until after we all shared Christmas dinner together.

After dinner, I set the train up, then invited Kalib over. He was thrilled and squealed mightily. Jobezilla was taking a nap. In fact, Jobezilla had napped right through Christmas dinner.

Jobezilla soon woke from his nap. His mom brought him to us, to see what kind of havoc and destruction he might wreak.

At first, Jobezilla was too tired and groggy to wreak any kind of destruction. Look closely and you will see his milk bottle and his cute little wrecking toes on Jacob's lap as Kalib lovingly watches Thomas pull his load around the track.

Jobezilla knew that he had a mission to accomplish, so he worked himself into position to better study the layout of his next destruction project. His dad tried to keep an eye on him and his big brother at the same time. In his enthusiasm to try and run the train and handle it, too, Kalib was prone to exercise his own moments of Kalibzilla.

Oh, did Kalib love this Thomas train! Before setting up the track, I had tested the Thomas Train on my own office railroad tracks. Lavina had come in to witness. She had wondered if maybe Kalib would lose interest after five minutes or so of watching it do nothing but go round the track.

Perhaps he would have, had Thomas stayed on the track seven feet above the floor.

According to the metadata, I took my first photo of Thomas in action seconds before 5:45 PM and my last seconds before 9:12 PM. Not for one second would Kalib's interest lapse. And, after 3.5 hours, in no way would he be ready to stop and go home.

When Jobezilla finally struck, he struck fast, without warning. I was not quick enough to photograph the moment - just the aftermath.

As his dad tried to restrain a screamining Jobezilla, Charlie came over to help put the train back together. Kalib wanted to do it all himself, but, as earlier noted, his motor skills are not there yet. There was a very real danger that his repair job could do more damage than the crash itself - which, fortunately, appeared to do no damage whatsoever.

Jobezilla quickly broke through his restraints and jerked Thomas off the track once again. I missed the more dramatic shots of the action that followed this capture. I was too busy trying to save Thomas and his cars from total destruction.

Charlie then put the train back together again as Jobezilla fought to find his way back to continue his rampage of destruction.

Peace was restored. Thomas the Train found himself with time to safely round the track, again and again. This should not be interpreted to mean that Jobezilla had been put out of action...

...No... Jobezilla had turned his attention elsewhere. Jobezilla now drove trains across his grandmother's head, who, with great courage, dedication and a strong sense of genetic survival, continued to feed her youngest grandson with his mother's own milk.

Then, as Kalib labored to put the windmill so necessary to keep water supplied to Thomas's steam engine to work, Jobezilla suddenly charged onto the railroad. Thomas the Train was about to experience a head-toe-on collision.

Yet, the derailed train was soon re-railed again. Kalib now began to pick up some train engineer skills.

It was a beautiful thing to see - Thomas the Train, steaming past the windmill that provides the water for his steam.

But where was Jobezilla?

It all seemed just too safe.

Oh, the horror! The horror!

There he is! Jobezilla! Or at least his thumb, toppling the windmill right onto Thomas! I feared this might have inflicted some lasting damage.

But it didn't. These HO Thomases are truly more rugged than I would have imagined. Soon, Thomas the Train was righted and running again. Then Kalib saw Jobezilla's bare feet threatening. Kalib shot his little hands out to grab the train.

"No, Jobe! No, Jobe!" Kalib screamed.

Naturally, his protective hands derailed Thomas, but Thomas survived.

And then, using the toes of his left foot, Jobezilla knocked Thomas askew, but Thomas did not stop. His wheels half on the tracks and half off, Thomas steamed past by Jobezilla's right foot, hoping not to get toe-clobbered again.

Jobezilla's dad pulled him off to a "safe" distance. With Jobezilla out of the way, Kalib gazed upon Thomas with love and adoration.

Jobezilla broke free again. Now, with great finesse, he derailed the trailing cars with a mere touch of the extended big toe.

Kalib again takes over the engineer's spot. Whenever he would goof up and his dad would try to take over, he would shout, "No, Daddy! No!"

"No Daddy, no Daddy, no Daddy, No! No, no Daddy, no!"

Well, look at this! It's Thomas, cruising fast and unbothered.

Oops... Jobezilla returned with a Thomas of his own, not an HO Thomas but a big, floor-running, Thomas. As Kalib shouted, "No, Jobe, No Jobe!" Jobezilla thrust the big Thomas onto the track in front of the speeding HO Thomas, causing a head-on collision.

It was horrible!

Just horrible, I tell you!

Oh, the enginamity!

Somehow, a revived Thomas squeaked through between the toes of a towering Jobezilla.

This time, the Jobezilla toes won. Thomas the Train went down again. This time, it was Melanie who came to help right the Thomas Train.

I told you the whole family would enjoy this gift!

Knowing that Thomas needed to cool off, Kalib improvised and turned the windmill into a fan.

It was a grand evening - the most fun evening of all to take place in this house in a very long time.

But it had to end. Kalib did not want it to. He wanted this evening to last forever.

He refused to leave and go get his coat on. There was nothing to do but for me to disassemble the railroad and put Thomas and his cars back into the box.

I began to do so. I tried to get Kalib to see if he could show me which cars fit in which impressions in the packaging, but he refused to be ameliorated.

"No! No!," he screamed. "I want Thomas! No, no, no!"

I packaged Thomas up, picked up the box and began to carry it back to my office.

"Bye, bye, Thomas..." I heard Kalib weeping and sobbing behind me. "Bye, bye, Thomas!" Oh, it was a sad, sad, sound!

His parents got him bundled up and his dad carried him to the car. He screamed all the way. "No! No! Thomas! I want Thomas!"

Finally, he was buckled up into his car seat. I opened the door and went to give him a hug. "No! No!" he screamed, shaking his head violently. I had never seen him so angry - and he was angry at me. He did not see me as the one who had brought the HO Thomas into his life, with crucial help from his aunt Sujitha from India who had made a big sacrifice that he had no appreciation for or understanding of. 

He did not see me as the one who would keep Thomas safe until he can return to play with him again. He saw me only as the meanie bully who had now taken Thomas away from him.

To be quite honest, even though he was only about two hours short of his fourth birthday, this offended me a bit.

"This Thomas isn't for you alone, it is for the family!" I spoke sharply. "If it wasn't for your Aunt Suji and me, this Thomas would never have been here for you to play with at all! And if this how you are going to act, if you are going to be mean to me when I have been nice to you, then next time you come back, I won't even get Thomas out. You won't be able to play with Thomas at all."

I knew that in my own anger I was speaking over Kalib, I knew he would not grasp my meaning at all.

But suddenly, he quit screaming. He went silent. He looked at me with a surprising expression of having suddenly understood. He lifted up his arms and extended them toward me. I leaned in. He gave me a hug. I gave him a hug.

In short order, I knew, this would all come together. Kalib would soon know that when he came out, we would get Thomas out. When he left, we would put Thomas back.

Even so, he cried all the way home.

And the next afternoon, when I showed up at his house for his birthday party, he was not very happy with me. But he was happy with his wooden Thomas trains - as you will soon see.

Yes, it will all come together. Thomas will bring much joy to Kalib - and to Jobezilla, and to Jobe, once Jobezilla morphs into Jobe once again. 

And joy to Lynxton; joy to Dad Jacob and Mom Lavina. Joy to Margie. Joy o aunts and uncles. To me.

Thank you, Niece Sujitha.

I guarantee you, had you not wired your generous gift that you could so truly have used across the ocean, there would be no Thomas the Train HO in this house. It was your love that made all this happen. Someday, Kalib will understand this. He will love you, as I do, as do we all - we, your family in Alaska.

This goes for you, too, Gane, brother to Sujitha, brother to Soundarya. I know you will be reading this as well. Please pass our love on to your parents.

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