Sally at Family: Clean and sober for five years now; I drive to town, take Margie to a movie, eat dinner with Lisa, Kalib eats, watches Cars

Yesterday morning I got up, went online, checked the balance in my checking account, saw that it was $69 and a few cents and said, "what the hell, I'll go to breakfast at Family Restaurant." I do have an invoice out there which hopefully will be paid in time to do some Christmas shopping but, in the meantime, I needed breakfast. I didn't want oatmeal and there was nothing else to cook. Margie had overnighted in Anchorage with Lavina and Kalib - Jacob was still in Washington, D.C., but is scheduled to arrive in Anchorage this afternoon.

So I sat down and ordered my omelette and then Sally walked in. I invited her to join me.

I first met Sally close to ten years ago in Cordova. I had gone there to cover the annual Sobriety Celebration sponsored by the tribal government of the Native Village of Eyak for Alaska's Village Voices, back in the days when a few of us had the doomed vision that we could turn the publication into one that would truly get into and cover rural, Native, issues and people in a meaningful way.

Sally was then working with NVE to provide services to a group of village Elders. A few years back, she moved to Wasilla and now she works at Arby's. She stops at Family every morning on the way to work to get a coffee and to visit with the cooks, waitresses and some of the regulars.

Our conversation quickly turned to the group of Elders that Sally used to work with - all, but one, now dead.

Each death hurts, but one in particular caused Sally great pain and she feels it every day. She particularly loved this Elder, but the Elder had grown weary and tired of the trials of this life and so set out to drink herself to death. She did just that.

As for Sally, alcohol and drugs are a big part of her past, but she has now been clean and sober for five years.

It has been hard, and there are hard moments in every day and some days are hard from beginning to end - but still, life is better, a wonderful challenge, and the struggle worth it.

Once, before she sobered up, she sat down in a chair, placed a rifle butt-first on the floor with the tip of the barrel under her chin. She reached down and tripped the trigger with her thumb. She heard the click of the firing pin strike metal, but the rifle did not fire.

Angry, she lifted it up, pointed it upward, said, "son-of-a-bitch!" and pulled the trigger again.

The rifle fired.

She now believes that even at that moment, God was watching out for her, that He was by her side.

And it is He, she says, her Higher Power, who is getting her through all this now - with the help of her AA sponsor, and others who fight the same battle. She has also come to understand that she must live in the moment, she cannot dwell in the past or fantasize with unrealistic expectations for or dread of the future.

"I take it one day at a time." 

I asked if she would mind if I mentioned a bit of her story in this blog. 

That would be fine, she said, adding: "I work at Arby's, but that's my part-time job. Sobriety is my real job - not just my sobriety, but helping others. That's what I live for now - to help other people. It feels good."

In the early afternoon, about 2:00 o'clock, I got into the car to go to Anchorage. I did not want to go to Anchorage, I wanted to stay right here, but Margie needed a ride home. And we had decided to go see a movie. Plus, I would get to see Kalib and Lavina and perhaps some of my children as well.

So off I went. This is what the Talkeetna Mountains looked like when I reached the corner of Seldon and Lucille. The temperature was -12.

And here is Pioneer Peak, as I drive out of Wasilla. It was warmer here, with the temperature at -2. It had been a steady progression upward: -12 at the house, -7 at Metro Cafe and so on.

I have not checked Interior and Slope temperatures, but I am certain all must be much colder. 

And in Anchorage, as I drove down the street that Kalib and his parents now live on, the temperature was a balmy six degrees above zero.

The house at the very left is their's. I do not know who the man in the street is. There is a trail in the park just across the street. Lavina and Kalib can cut through there on foot and be to his day care and her work in less than five minutes.

Margie was alone in the house, so I picked her up and we headed straight for the movie theatre, passing these two along the way.

Damn! I sure would like to win that $100,000! I could then go at this blog full-time and in the time that it would give me, I bet I could figure out how make it into what I want it to be, and better yet, how to sustain itself.

But, if you don't buy a ticket you can't win, so I guess I don't have a chance.

We passed these three, who waited for a bus.

And this lady, who kept her face warm. 

I wanted to see Avatar, but so did too many other people so we decided to wait on that one. We saw "The Blind Side," because the starting time was just after we walked into the theatre. There were other movies playing that I would have preferred to see, had the timing been right, but...

I enjoyed this movie - I truly did. It was a good story and I hope it really is true. And Sandra Bullock looked good, maybe too good - warning to all heterosexual males who might want to go see this movie: Sandra Bullock is going to leave you feeling a little frustrated.

Because she still limps badly, moves slowly and finds it difficult and frightening to tread her way across ice and snow, I dropped Margie off at the curb and then, when the movie was over, went and got the car and picked her back up again.

As she got into the car, I noticed these two girls, talking on their phones.

After the movie, we picked up Lisa and took her to dinner. The health care bill was a big topic of conversation and whether or not it should be killed. We have all been strong proponents, but it is tragic and disgusting what has happened to that bill. As she sees it turning into something that discriminates against women, Lisa is leaning towards "kill the bill."

Still I, who lost my health care coverage this week because I could not cover the outrageous premium which had just jumped up 20 percent, feel the bill should be passed. I don't claim to understand it and it does seem to me to be turning into a big give-away to the Health Insurance companies (Joe Lieberman - you have served your masters and your ego well), but it does appear to me to be better than the present situation.

Also, as Paul Krugman states, citing Social Security and Medicare, once you get programs for the public good into law and create a base to work upon, they do tend to be improved over time and the chance of that happening seems pretty good.

On the other hand, if the bill is killed altogether, the force of irrationality that stood up with no real alternatives, banded together in pure obstinance just to kill the bill, determined to say "no" as a unified block of disunity, at all costs to their country and their constituents, just so that they could send Obama to his Waterloo, might find that they have killed themselves politically.

As for me, as soon as this invoice I mentioned is paid, I will get my insurance reinstated. I don't really know why. It costs a huge bundle and does more harm to me than good. But doctors won't see you if you don't have medical insurance.

So the way it works for me is, the doctors see me, bill the insurance, the insurance denies, and then I pay the doctors, buy my medicine, get free samples or go without.

I really don't want to get it reinstated. The money that I spend on it would be far better spent going directly into my health care. And when I had the catastrophic event, they didn't pay my ambulance bill from Barrow to Anchorage - as their saleswoman had promised me they would, should the need ever arise.

So I am very angry about this whole situation. 

We brought some dinner to Lavina and Kalib. There is still much work to be done to get them moved in and settled, but, as you can see, their new rug is now in place. It looks much better than the old one.

I think this is going to be a good house for them.

Kalib loves the animated film, Cars. He has already watched it more times than I have ever watched a single movie in my life.

As his Mom feeds him, he watches it again.

And yes, the activities of this day cost well over the $69 I had in my account at the beginning. After I picked her up, Margie put her credit card to liberal use.

Sometimes, I wonder why the hell I ever wanted to be a freelance photographer/writer/publisher, but damn - if you could look into my soul you would know that I never had a choice. I have always sought freedom, but this is just what I am.

I often - like right now - feel doomed, but something always seems to happen to keep me going.

What will it be this time?

Comments

[dahli22]

You go Sally! I have so much admiration for you...the grit it takes...and now you're helping other people.

Bill -- put a donation thingy on your site...i would donate since i read this every day, am willing to pay.

[WhiteStone]

I like that Sally! God is blessing her and she is blessing others!

[Michelle]

Hi Bill - I missed you this am, gosh you are getting readers who harp about your post time now! Good or bad?

Sally is a very brave woman. When you see her again, let her know that her story touched a stranger who lives very far away. Add it to her reasons to keep on keeping on.

Thanks for the Kalib fix. See you tomorrow!!

[Ruth Z Deming]

glad you wrote about sally and her great victory. for many yrs, my sister was a heroin addict, another an alcoholic. both are fine today. loved the shot of the glittering movie theater. i too wanna see avatar most of all. my 64th b'day is on xmas so my son said he'd take me. i was jubilant about the passage of the healthcare reform bill. my premium is an outrageous 556 a month which is paid for by my 2 children and my boyfriend. and, yes, aren't those holdout senators absolute a'holes? gail collins had a great editorial about them. kalib seems to be acclimating to his b'ful new house. his mashed potatoes looked yummy.

[Susan]

Sally ... please give her a hug ... of encouragement ... and thank you for sharing her story.

[Ash]

You could make a great calender out of all your Wasilla shots, Mr.Hess.. Have you tried that before?

[Wasilla, Alaska, by 300]

Dahli - I am wrestling with that idea, and others have told me the same. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the thought - but, I have been thinking about ways to raise a little money. I plan to "relaunch" this blog early next year and to include some fundraising tools in there.

Whitestone - Yes, I agree.

Michelle, I would say good. I will definitely tell Sally.

Ruth - I'm glad your sisters got on top of it. What a struggle and what courage. I won't be jubilant about health care passing until it actually does. It looks like its going to - but there are still obstancles. From where I sit, $556 a month would be a great relief. I hope you get more for that I do for mine.

Susan - I will

Ash - I haven't tried it, but I agree, it's a good idea. I'm too late for 2010, but maybe 2011 - or perhaps even one of those 18 month calendars.