Lazy day

Very lazy today - so lazy that I only shot one picture, all day long - and this is it. Got no more to say. Too lazy.

Hello - and goodbye

Christian hymns have been playing in my head continuously for the past several days. I believe this is because I was unable to travel to Soundarya's funeral and so my subconscious mind had to create a funeral for me. The only way it knew how to do this was to pull up the hymns that it has heard at so many funerals - none of them Hindu. I just don't know any Hindu funeral hymns.

Within the past few hours, the hymns have gone away. They have been replaced by two Beatles songs, which come and go as they please: To Know Her is to Love Her and "I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello." So my personal funeral for Soundarya must be over. I did not see her body or the beautiful saree and flowers that would have adorned her. I did not witness her cremation. I did not observe or participate in the rituals. I did not get to embrace her mother and father, her brother and sister or any of her large family of relatives - my relatives now.

I did not get to weep with them.

Even so, my brain provided what it could by way of a personal funeral and now that funeral is over and I must move on.

Before I do, I thought that I would put up one last picture of Soundarya and I thought that it should be from when we first met - either from the wedding feast for Vivek and Khena or from the walk Sandy and I took afterward.

So I typed "Sandy" into my computer's internal search engine and then chose several candidates from the many thumbnails that appeared upon my screen. I narrowed these down to the three pictured here on my monitor and then finally chose the one to the left, desaturated of most of its color.

Then I realized that I could not just put a picture from the past up in the context of the past, but that my "hello-goodbye" picture had to be as I saw it today - looking out at me from my computer screen in my dimly lit office.

The two model airplanes on the wall to the right, as some of you know, were made by my deceased brother, Ron, before he broke his neck and became tetraplegic. 

Ganesh Facebooked a link to me of a song, Kabhi Kabhie Mere Dil Mein, performed by professionals. He and she once sang it together and ended it with a big laugh fest. I listened to the song several times, but each time I closed my eyes so that I would not see the actors in the video, but only her and I saw her strongly. She once told me online that she had visited a seer who had told her that we had been close in lives past and would be close in lives future.

This life is the only life that I know and am certain is real, but it is a nice thought and would explain many things.

Now I will let her go. I will not stop thinking of her, my tears for her will not altogether dry, but I will let her go and I will deal with the things that I must deal with everyday and I won't be blogging about her anymore.

At least not for now, not for awhile. Someday, when I find the money to return to India and capture the time to find a way to better tell her story, then I will blog about her again. How can a storyteller have a muse and not tell her story?

I will tell it, Muse. I will tell your story. The world will know about you - your sweet, gentle, caring soul that could bestow kindness not only upon a kitten but even upon a bug - or a cobra... the fierce defense that you would throw up to protect those you loved against those more powerful than you... the dreams, passions, ambitions and desires that filled you... the bitter disappointments that you pushed through again and again right up until this last one... the beautiful even if painful memory that you have now become.

I will tell this story - but not now. For now, I must pull back and do other things.

As for these two on their snowmachine, I saw them yesterday afternoon off Church Road as I was cruising and drinking a Metro coffee that I had bought from Shoshana.

View images as slides

Transitions: Wasilla to Barrow

Not so long ago, I was in Wasilla. And on the last Sunday that I spent there, Margie and I took an afternoon drive. We past by this church on Shrock Road, which apparently was having its grand opening. It has been under construction for a long time.

Not long after that, I was sitting in a middle seat in a jet airplane between two big guys, flying north, Denali to the west.

And now I am in Barrow, where the temperatures are very mild for this time of year, but it has been windy, blizzardy. This morning, the effort to keep the roads clear was constant.

Even so, I heard several reports on the VHF radio about cars being stuck in drifts here and there. All flights in and out of Barrow had been canceled.

For people driving snowmachines, the drifting snow didn't matter much.

We take Kalib to breakfast; Cars and snowmachines, ravens and airplanes

The check that I had been waiting for finally came yesterday, so I decided to take Margie and Kalib to breakfast at Mat-Su Valley Family Restaurant this morning. From Friday night through Saturday night, Kalib was pleasant, happy and in good spirits.

Today, he seemed a little down and out. I think he surpassed his tolerance of being away from Mom and Dad. He did enjoy helping Grandma to sweeten her coffee.

He also seemed like perhaps he was coming down with a cold. Still, he did go exploring beneath the restaurant table.

Margie shared her breakfast with him, but he didn't eat much. He did drink most of his cranberry juice. Despite having received my check, I still paid for breakfast with a credit card. The money will not be in the bank until tomorrow and I did not want to suffer an overdraft charge for breakfast.

We do have a big auto-bill pay tomorrow. We will rush the check over in the morning, but I do not know if it will show in time to save us from whatever penalties the bank will be delighted to charge us.

Just before we left, I saw Melanie, not my daughter but the Melanie who works at IHOP, with her son Duncan. When he was just a baby, I photographed the two of them at Carr's.

After we got home, I went for a walk. Many cars zoomed by me.

In just two months, these bare trees will burst out in new green. Given how warm it has been this winter, the leaves might come out a little earlier than the normal mid-May.

But then April could be cold, so who knows?

Snowmachiners passed by on the left.

Two ravens flew overhead.

So did this airplane.

It has been a long time since I have cut through Serendipity, just because it depresses me so. But today I did. I stress again - I hold nothing against anyone who lives in Serendipity, but if you once had a place where you retreated every day that you were home, just you and your dog, to hang out with moose, bears, ravens, eagles and if you rarely ran into another person in that place and then one day they tore your woods down and it wound up looking like this and you could find no solitude there, it would depress you, too.

When I returned home, Kalib was waiting at the window for me.

Kalib and I.

Even though he now has one of my old fish tanks and gets to feed fish every day, Kalib always wants to feed the fish when he comes out.

He insists that his grandma come out and observe.

In the early afternoon, he carried his little stuffed muzzy to the car, along with his Grahamn Krackers. Uncle Caleb buckled him in and then Margie drove him home to Anchorage.

She said that she was not going to be gone long, that she would just drop him off and then come straight home. I have heard this before and I did not believe her. She stayed in town for several hours.

She reported that Kalib's mom was so anxious to see him that she came out the door even before Margie could out of the car.

Kalib was also overjoyed to see her, and Dad, too.

As for Margie, she looked very dejected when she got home about seven hours after she left.

"I sure miss Kalib," she said.

I have a great deal to do this week. Once again, I must push the blog to the back of my priority list. I will post every day, but lightly so - unless something happens that I just have to go all out on.

Kalib at the beginning and end, Wasilla's Coffee Party in between, plus sled and snowmachine riders

Last night, I wrote that it was my intent to devote today's entry to the images I took of Kalib yesterday but did not post because I did the 12 studies on Jobe. I noted that one never knows what might come up but was pretty sure I would follow through.

Well, something did come up - nothing more important or more interesting than Kalib, mind you, but something that does have a bit of a time element to it, so I feel that I should put it up right now and hold the pictures of Kalib for a bit.

But I won't leave him out altogether.

When Margie and I came home last night, we brought Kalib with us. He checked out the tail of his old buddy, Royce. I wonder what he saw?  I doubt that Kalib has any idea of how much Royce has declined in the past few months, but maybe he notices something different.

I then spent a few hours here in my office, both working and goofing off on my computer, but finally I was worn out and so went back into the house. This is what I found. Margie and I then had a discussion as to whether we should push the coffee table next to the couch to make certain that Kalib would not roll off and then just let him sleep right here, or if I should carry him back to his old room and put him on the mattress that lies on the floor.

It was a cold night, well below zero and we had run completely out of firewood and were now warming the house with expensive electric heaters - including one that we had placed in Kalib's old room. It warmed it up quite nicely, so I carried him back and put him to bed.

By then it was 2:30 AM. Margie and I went to bed shortly after that, but we didn't go to sleep, because we had to keep double checking things to make certain that Kalib could rest undisturbed. We did not really settle down until well after 3:00 AM.

I had received an invite to a gathering Saturday morning at Metro Cafe at 10:00 AM. Even after I settle down, it usually takes me a good hour to go to sleep and then I wake up frequently, so I did not feel inclined to go to anything that started at 10:00 AM.

Worse yet, I came wide awake a bit after 5:00 AM and could not get back to sleep until after 7:00. 

There was no way that I was going to go a 10:00 o'clock gathering - not even at Metro Cafe.

About 9:00 AM, Jimmy reached out and lightly placed the claws of his right paw in my beard. This meant that he wanted to get under the blankets, so I made space and under he came. I then went back to sleep. Next, I woke up at 9:45, but refused to get up before 10:00, just in case I might find a way to sleep for another hour or two.

Come ten, I knew I wasn't going to sleep anymore, but I did not feel at all ambitious. I got up, but didn't hurry to do anything. I staggered lazily to my office, got onto my computer, checked to see that this blog had posted properly, read the comments, checked the number of hits, then went back in, mixed oatmeal with walnuts, blueberries and water, set it to cooking and then came back to my computer.

I checked a few other sites and blogs, including The Mudflats. 

There, I saw an announcement of "Coffee Parties" that were being held all across the USA, including one at Metro Cafe in Wasilla, with this explanation:

"MISSION: The Coffee Party Movement gives voice to Americans who want to see cooperation in government. We recognize that the federal government is not the enemy of the people, but the expression of our collective will, and that we must participate in the democratic process in order to address the challenges that we face as Americans. As voters and grassroots volunteers, we will support leaders who work toward positive solutions, and hold accountable those who obstruct them."

Oh, for hell's sake! Something like this was going on in Wasilla and I had stayed away just because I wanted a little more sleep? When do I ever get enough sleep? NEVER. Well, almost never. Maybe half-a-dozen times a year, after I've worked 30 or 40 hours straight.

I went back into the house and started to eat my oatmeal.

"Oh, hell," I said again (sorry, Riana), "I had better run up there. There's probably going to be a few people still hanging out." So I left my oatmeal to Margie and Kalib and off I went. 

I got there a few minutes after 11:00 AM. It was all over, but there were a few people still hanging around, chatting. Here are two of them: Bob, whose last name I do not know, at the left and Jay Cross at right. 

Among other things, Cross is a pilot and aircraft owner. If I recall correctly, he flies a Super Cub, but he might fly other planes as well.

I can't report on what they talked about at the meeting, because I missed it.

Do you know that I dream about airplanes almost every single night? 

The fellow on the left taking my picture is Philip Munger, musician and classical composer whose most recent work is Hindu Kush, an orchestral work dedicated to the mountain range of the same name between Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Munger is a Progressive activist blogger, and you can read what he wrote about the Coffee Party here. Munger writes that he made a joke at Sarah Palin's expense but was upbraided by another participant for doing so - and adds that she was right to upbraid him.

Apparently, it was more of a get-acquainted and plan for future get-togethers than a strategy session. 

At left is Sarah Welton, current Vice-President and former President of the Board of the Mat-Su Borough School District, Anne Kilkenny who wrote a very famous letter about Sarah Palin and Dianne Woodruff, who sits on the Wasilla City Council.

It was Kilkenny who Munger says took exception to his Sarah Palin joke.

This is Rosemary, who introduced herself to me almost as soon as I stepped into Metro. She told me she reads this blog every day. And right now, that is all I know about her - but that's enough to make me appreciate her.

Carmen was kept very busy. As I have noted before, Carmen runs not only a bipartisan but multipartisan business. Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Apathetics - all are welcome at Metro Cafe.

Bob, with a cup of Carmen's coffee.

This is Michael Janecek. He told me about his Maine Coon cat. This is a cat that I must photograph one day soon.

I lingered for awhile afterwards and visited with Woodruff. You might suspect that all those who participated would have been Democrats, but not Dianne. She has been a Republican, but lately has been put off by what has happened in that party, as exemplified by the likes of Rush Limbaugh. 

She says she would like to see people quit demonizing each other and instead to talk intelligently together, to discuss vigorously but thoughtfully, to seek to find solutions rather than to obstruct.

She said a lot more, too, but it is 1:30 AM and in half an hour it will be 3:00 AM, due to the leap to daylight time, so I will leave it at that and move on.

This is Carmen with her friend and former co-worker at Northern Air Cargo, Elaine Nisson. 

Right after Carmen introduced her, Nisson patted her flat chest and told me, "I'm tit-less Elaine." She lost both of her breasts to cancer.

She did not lose her sense of humor, or her will to live and persevere. 

I need to make it very clear that Elaine did not come to participate in the Coffee Party. She is a Republican and feels strongly about it. She came to be of assistance to her good friend, Carmen, who had a need for assistance this day.

The pink ribbon has become the symbol of support for women who must fight breast cancer. Elaine carries this one around with her. Carmen holds the ribbon in her hand, and Elaine holds the hand of Carmen.

Just before 4:00 PM, I returned to Metro Cafe so that I could buy a cup and have it in the car with me while I listened to the news. Elaine was still there, and I took one of my reknowned "Through the Metro Window" studies of her together with Carmen, but I will save it for another post.

Not long after I drove away, sipping, listening to the news, I saw some kids walking up a sledding hill, with mountains behind and blue sky above. I decided to stop and take a picture.

These three stopped, too, got out of their car and headed toward the hill. Before they reached it, Kelley and Kiara jumped on their sled and zipped down a smaller hill that leads to the base of the bigger hill.

This is the bigger hill. That's Kelley and Kiara, at the upper right, sledding down the hill.

This is a kid on a snowmachine that I passed on my way home. I passed him easy enough, going about 40-45, but he didn't seem to like being passed, because he really gunned it after that. In my review mirror, I could see him, and two boys on a second machine a short distance behind him tearing up the snow, bouncing over the many bumps, going airborne, seemingly determined to match my speed or maybe catch me and pass me up.

Then a couple of other snowmachiners came down the trail in the opposite direction, directly towards them and they had to slow down or crash.

Kalib and Royce, late Saturday evening.

Well, it's 1:55. In five minutes, it will be 3:00. 

That's it for this day.