2009 in review - May: Melanie and I go to India for Soundarya's wedding; I ride a bike in the cool Wasilla air; Kalib gets tossed

What a transition, huh? From the ice pack of the Arctic Ocean to a sweltering, sweltering, hot day in Bangalore, Karnataka, India. And it all happened because of this beautiful woman, Soundarya Ravichandran - about to become Soundarya Anil Kumar. I first met her 21 months earlier when my niece, Khena Swallow, married her cousin, Vivik Iyer, in Bangalore.

Yet, it did not feel like I had just met her, but rather that I had always known her. Tables had been set up in long rows for the wedding feast. Guests sat on only one side of the tables so that the servers could file past in front of them, spooning food onto their banana leaves, which served as plates.

She sat at the table directly opposite mine, facing me. So I raised my camera and focused it on her. "I don't take good pictures," she protested, embarrassed.

"That's okay," I said, "I do." 

After dinner, she invited me to walk with her, and we soon came upon a woman standing in a tiny yard behind a tall fence, along with an orange and white kitten and a little white dog. Sandy asked the woman if she could hold the kitten, so she passed it over the fence to her. She went nuts for that kitten, cuddling and petting it, smiling and laughing in true joy. I took some pictures and we have been the fastest of friends ever since.

Thanks to the internet, it is easy to keep in touch.

I call her "Muse," because even from so far away she has caused me to take pictures that I would never have taken. She has asked me to write stories that I might never otherwise have written.

I promised her that when she got married, I would come back to India to photograph her wedding.

And now she was getting married, so here I was.

And this man would be her groom - Anil Kumar. It would not be an arranged marriage, but a love marriage and would cross the caste lines of old.

There were musicians at the wedding, creating music of a type that we do not normally hear, here in Alaska.

And there were cooks, and cooks helpers, creating food as delicious as any that you can imagine. Oh, my goodness... was it good.

Now let me back up a bit, to very early in the day. A pre-wedding, pre-sunrise, ceremony was to be held at the home of the bride. Melanie had come to India with me and Vivek's parents had put us up at their house. We had spent the previous day with Vivek's mom, Vasanthi, shopping for saree material for Melanie and we had visited a tailor, who measured her and then went to work, cutting and stitching.

So, although we were still exhausted from the 40 hour trip, we got up at 4:00 AM so that we could get to Sandy's house in time for the ceremony.

Murthy, Vivek's dad, had arranged for a taxi-cab to pick us up, but the taxi did not show. I was a little distressed, as I wanted to photograph the day's events from beginning to end.

So Murthy put me on the back of his motor-bike and off we went. Bangalore is a huge, sprawling, city - twice the size of New York and, even in the light traffic of early morning, it took us nearly 45 minutes to get there.

We made it in time. Here, Soundarya receives a blessing from her mother, Bhanumati, or "Bhanu."

Soundarya enters the wedding hall with her entourage. Compared to a Indian wedding, a typical American wedding is a brief and simple affair. Many, many, many things happen at an Indian wedding and as I covered a good portion of it to some depth over several earlier posts, I am not going to do too much with it now.

Instead, I will jump to this scene, many hours later, when everybody broke out into applause, because Anil and Soundarya were now husband and wife.

This doesn't mean the ceremony was over. Many things would yet happen.

Finally, they got to eat. They fed each other little cakes, kind of like what happens at an American wedding.

After dinner, the ceremonies moved to the house of the groom's mother. You see the hand that gestures? That hand belongs to a photographer that the groom's family hired and he, along with his videographer, was a nightmare to me.

The videographer had a powerful, harsh, flat, spotlight, the likes of which I have never seen in the US. See the beautiful light from the candle? In about two seconds, maybe one, that videographer will blast that light away with the searing, brutal, glare of his spotlight.

The photographer will shoot his stills with flash, straight on, giving it the most washed-out effect possible. He will interrupt things and order people around.

And the photographer was very aggressive - he used his shoulders and elbows whenever he got near me.

But I was in his country, and this seems to be how wedding photographers go about things here, so there wasn't much I could do about it. I had to accept it and work around these two guys the best I could.

Ah, if only I could meet them on the ice-pack one day!

But you know what I would do if I did? I would help them out as best I could.

The bride and groom enter, kicking over a container of rice. More things happened as well.

Then there was a break. We all gathered around this laptop with Anil's brother, Ashok, and his wife, Thruptha, to look at pictures of their wedding, which had happened a short time before. That's Thruptha on the screen and sitting at right.

In the middle is Melanie, so beautiful in her new saree.

Melanie receives a blessing.

When it comes to my picture in this blog, my policy has been mostly to photograph shadows, sometimes mirror images and once in awhile a self-portrait.

But I want to include this one to promote my nephew, Ganesh, "Gane," Sandy's brother. He is a natural born photographer, wants to become pro and he ought to. He likes to roam around in the forest to photograph elephants, especially the big "tuskers," and other wildlife that he finds there. He does a good job with people. He did not have a camera, so he picked up mine and shot me drinking from a coconut, with these two characters nearby.

It was now about 1:00 AM. We moved back to the home of Sandy's mom and dad, where the day had begun.

Thankfully, the photographer and his videographer did not come. I had this to myself.

I should note that I did not manage to get any of the evening home pictures in my earlier series, either here or at the house of Anil's mom, so this is the first time anyone has seen them - even me.

Bhanu blesses the new couple before they enter the house.

Inside, there will be more blessings, for both the bride...

...and the groom.

This is Sandy's sister, Sujitha, "Barbie," and her man, Manu. It is kind of complicated to explain, so I won't, but they are hoping to have a wedding ceremony before long and they want me to come.

I want to be there but I am so broke now, I don't know how I can pull it off. But things always change so we will see.

Melanie and I did some touring after that, with Murthy and Vasanthi as our hosts. Being a host in India means something different than it does in the US. They would not let us pay for anything. We traveled by hired cab, and they paid for the cab and driver. They paid for hotels, they bought our meals.

If we started to look at souveniers, they would buy those, too.

I am pretty certain that if the richest family in the US were to be the hosts of a dirt-poor family in India, that family would not let the rich people spend hardly a rupee, but would sacrifice all that they had to make them comfortable.

Sandy and Anil came on the first trip, Vasanthi on every trip, usually with Buddy, who you can meet in the original series. Murthy had to work and so came only on the final trip.

To date, I have not found the time to even look at but the smallest portion of my take.

Sometime, I hope to sit down and do so. When I do, I will share the results with you. I am certain there is some good stuff in there.

As you can see, the momma monkey loves her baby. She told the daddy monkey to go to the store and buy a soda pop for the baby. As you can see, he did.

But then the daddy monkey drank all the pop himself. He refused to share. He was that kind of monkey.

We saw many wondrous things, including this ancient temple at Hampi. I had pulled this image at random out of my take for the original post.

Fishermen, at sunrise in the Sea of Bengal, offshore from Chennai.

And then, one day, I was back home in Wasilla. It was raining. Compared to India, it was a cold rain. I got on my bike and pedaled and pedaled. The cool, clean, air was so good to breathe, the cold rain felt wonderful.

But don't misunderstand. There is something about India that I love deeply. I wish that I had found the place when I was younger and that I had the money to go back again and again.

Even now, I want to go back again and again.

Yet, I hate to leave Alaska for very long.

That is the conundrum. 

Kalib, of course, must be included in this post. I actually took this shortly before Melanie and I left for India. Kalib had come down with pneumonia, but was getting better.

His dad made certain he got some air into his lungs.

Comments

[debby]

You know, I've always wondered if the beauty of Alaska made you a photographer, whether the people there were filled with something that you would simply die if you could not capture...while these things are undeniably true, with this post I realized this: whether you lived in India, or Washington DC, or Utah, or Arizona or Alaska, you would see something that would push you until you captured it.

Wedding phototgraphers? Ay yi yi. There was one at a wedding we went to...everyone there was about ready to shoot him. And not with our cameras. He seemed to take every guest's attempted snap shot as 'competition'. He also used his elbows. Every picture I've got seems to have the backside of that rude photographer in it. I've often thought I should have used my own foot just a bit more aggressively.

[mharris]

visit here often. never posted. thank you for allowing us to share in your life. you have an easy comfortable way about your writing, and your pictures make it seem like one is standing there, behind you.
i hope the new year brings everything you hope for.

[CGinWI]

Wow, another amazingly beautiful bride.

I wish you would do a book of your India photos.

[dahli22]

I love how they lay out food on banana leaves! so pretty. And what a beautiful bride.

[Grandma Nancy]

I too hope for you and yours a blessed New Year with all you could possibly hope for. Thanks again for sharing your "view" with the rest of us.

[Other Debbie :)]

I would like to thank you for just being here because I love seeing your family and the environment around you through your eyes and voice.

The Year in Review has been just perfect. It was with this one today that I was reminded of the moment I found you.

You had been to an Indian wedding and had photographed it from beginning to end including days of rituals. You were now back home and trying to organize your photos and thoughts. I believe 2 blogs on this wedding had been posted when I opened the door into your life, and in the process expanded mine.

When I arrived, I hadn't planned to see an Indian wedding w/ all of its intricate details. I thought I would be finding out more about Wasilla, AK. Of course, along the way that happened, as well. (Part 1 - as I couldn't post my entire comment at one time - too long)

[emilypeacock]

I have just discovered your blog and am so enjoying your photographs. It has long been a dream of mine to go to India and these pictures just reinforce that desire.

Your writing is like a family newsletter, quiet and easy filled with little intimate tidbits of amazing clarity and wonder.

Namaste

[Ruth Z Deming]

how well i remember these magnificent wedding photographs, bill! it's also how i met you. i googled 'mother of the groom dress' since my son was getting married, and up came your blog. i was hooked. and still am.

[Funny Face]

Hello Shadow......nice to SEE you!

[Funny Face]

Hello Shadow.....nice to SEE you!

[kalaluka]

love love LOVE the pic of Kalib in flight.

Hau'oli makahiki hou / happy new year, Bill - wishing peace and prosperity to you and yours in the coming cycle.

[Ash]

Launch Rocket Kalib.. Mission successful ;D

[Vijay]

This is so much fun to see, a recap of the entire year from your eyes' view. This is so refreshing and lively!

[Suji]

Thanks a ton for the pic Bill. You know I would be so much disappointed if you are not there for our wedding..but I really hope we find a way out of this! And there is ONE BIG request..and you please do it...I want Kalib's pic in air to muh email id :) ..im really gonna frame it and the next time you come to my place you will have one copy too..its v amazing..i can really smile just looking at the photo even in my most depressing moments! Love ya Kalib.. keep smiling bro :)

[Suji]

I justt figured out a way to get the pic and Yipppeeeee its saved in my desktop now.. Kalib's pic I mean...thanks anyways..im sure you would have wanted to send that pic to me..but then I saved your time :)
Love,
Suji