The ordeal that my wife has so far faced - I wanted hospital care for her
Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 9:51PM ;)
Just today, the fourth day, the situation has begun to improve. I think we can reasonably manage it now, all on our own. But the previous three days and nights have all been hell; miserable, miserable, miserable; what little sleep could be had was for me always interrupted by Margie's screams of agony and for her prevented by the terrible pain itself. Simple, two minute tasks that everyone must perform have taken two, even three hours to carry out and it has taken the assistance of at least three strong adults each time. And very soon afterward, the task would need to be performed all over again.
To help get her through this, four adult family members have taken leave from work. It quickly became obvious to me and all the others here that she needed hospital care, at least for the first few days. The demands of caring for her in a way that would alleviate as much pain as possible were beyond our capability and facility.
;)
I will begin with the third night, when neither Margie or I got more than a few minutes sleep straight at any point. Every ten to fifteen minutes throughout the night - and I do not exagerate - Margie would scream out in terrible pain. This was how often the muscle spasms struck in her left leg. Each time one did, it pulled at her injured knee. This knee has been excruciatingly sensitive to movement and touch. The lightest touch upon her leg or foot could cause her to scream out in pain, as could the tiniest movement, often imperceptible to the eye.
This is why it would take us so long to perform those two minute tasks, for which we never moved her farther than one foot away from the bed.
So the third night passed with virtually no sleep for either of us - me, because the moment I would begin to doze would be the instant that her scream would jar me to full awake. Once awake, I was helpless to do a single thing for her. It is obvious why she could not sleep.
She took all her medications as prescribed.
;)
Now I will bounce back to the first night, the first day, after we left the Taco Bell on Muldoon in Anchorage where I had bought her a burrito so that she could take her pain medication. I drove home, with her sitting in the back seat and, as usual, it took close to one hour. For her, it was a miserable ride.
Once I got her home I had to get her from the car into the house - but remember, the slightest movement, the slightest touch, would cause her to scream out in pain. We retrieved the crutches she had used after her last injury, but while there were no broken bones this time, whatever damage has been inflicted upon her ligaments has brought even more severe pain than did the break. After about 15 minutes of struggle, punctuated by scream upon scream, we had not succeeded in moving her more than a foot from the car.
We then decided that we needed a wheelchair, just to transport her, but we did not have one. So I came here, to my office, retrieved my desk chair and took it outside. Then, through many more screams, Jacob and Caleb slowly lowered her into that chair while I attempted to keep her leg straight and her knee from bending by supporting her brace wih my right hand just below the knee and her ankle with my left hand.
Once we got her into the chair, we could not really roll it because our driveway is not paved and the tiny wheels of my office chair would not roll over rocks, gravel and dirt. So we picked the chair up by its wooden arms, carried her into the house and sat her down in the middle of the front room. We padded another chair with pillows and placed her injured leg upon it in a way that would keep it straight.
;)
She was now so exhausted by the pain and effort that she wanted to do nothing but sit in that spot without moving. So she sat there for about an hour, maybe longer, then decided that it was time to move to the single bed at the foot of our bed. This is where she had slept after I had I got my titanium replacement for the shoulder that I shattered on June 12, 2008. It is where she continued to sleep after she fell and broke her left kneecap and right wrist January 20, even before I had healed enough to share our bed with her.
So remember how last Saturday night, after I returned home from the Arctic Slope, I looked forward to climbing into my bed with my wife who I had not seen for seven weeks?
That night, last Saturday night, the night before she fell again, was the first night that we had slept together in our bed in fourteen months. FOURTEEN MONTHS! Who knows when we will next spend another night together in the same bed?
So we moved her slowly down the hall and then to the bed. Once at the bed, with me always trying to keep her leg straight, it took us three hours, again punctuated by many pained screams and shreiks, to place and position her.
No sooner had we accomplished this when she needed to use the restroom. We could not get her to the bathroom, but we did manage to raise her from the bed and we did manage to take care of the matter and then to place her back upon the bed - and again, the entire process was torn by the screams and shrieks and it took another two hours.
Altogether too soon, it would be time to do it all again. Any reader who has been with this journal for awhile will understand that I entered this new nursing job with its 24 hour shift followed immediately by 24 hour shift already in a state of exhaustion, yet it had to be done and so I did it.
;)
I knew that if she was going to get the care that she needed to keep her pain and suffering at a more tolerable level, she needed to go back to the hospital and be admitted. Yet, she had been through too much, suffered too much and was too exhausted to try now. The car was parked just outside the front door - less than a minute walk away out the bedroom, down the hall, through the front room and then outside - but it felt as far away and inaccessible as the moon.
It was late now, well after-hours, and there was nothing to do but to give Margie a chance to rest as best she could - which would not be much rest at all - and then see how we could get her back to the hospital. In the meantime, I decided to call the Alaska Native Medical Center, explain the situation and see if there was any kind of advice or help that I could get.
I called the main number and was transferred to the emergency room. I explained the situation to the person who answered. In an impatient tone of voice, she told me that she could neither offer any advice nor connect me with a doctor, nurse, or anyone who could, as it was against policy to make any kind of diagnosis or give any kind of advice over the phone.
The remainder of the first night and of the wee and early hours of the morning passed with many shrieks and screams of pain and with almost no sleep.
Come the second day, I was so exhausted that I could hardly function; I had strained my back in two places, but still my wife needed my help. I felt guilty for thinking of my own comfort and fatigue when I knew that what Margie was going through was so much worse.
Over the course of the next day, we spent some time on the phone with various people at ANMC, all of whom were most courteous and all expressed a desire to help. In the end, concerning the matter of further hospital care, a gentleman called me back and we engaged in a fairly lengthy discussion. This was the gist of his message: the chart for your wife has been examined. This is not the kind of injury that warrants hospital care. You can bring her back in. She will then have to be reexamined - the examination will mean we have to move her leg around and bend her knee. This will aggravate her injury even more. Then we will almost certainly send her home again and she will be in worse condition than she is right now.
This was followed by two more days of no sleep, of multiple two-hour, even three-hour, screaming ordeals. Her pain killer was changed and strengthened, yet not much seemed to change.
;)
This is me, late last night, lying on our bed not far from the one where Margie lay in pain. As he always is, Jim was there to help me through the ordeal. Not long afterward, an amazing thing happened. Margie improved dramatically. The two hour ordeal dropped to 20 minutes, her pain became bearable and her screams ceased. My help alone became sufficient to get her through it. Come morning, Jacob was able to drive back to Anchorage and return to work.
Lisa works at ANMC and had been busy serving as a go between to help her mom at least get a prescription for a stronger pain-killer, plus muscle relaxants. Perhaps that is what finally made the difference. Thank you, Lisa. And thank you Jacob, Lavina and Caleb for what you have done to help us get through this hard ordeal to this point.
;)
On one of those miserable nights, Kalib looked out the door into the backyard and spotted a bull moose in velvet.
;)
The bull moose, in velvet, in our backyard.
And so passes this recent chapter of our lives, right here, in Wasilla, Alaska.
Reader Comments (9)
Shall keep you all, especially your wonderful wife Margie , in our thoughts and prayers.
maak, larry and all the family
It's unfortunate that our health care systems are in shambles. This shouldn't be happening anywhere in the United States, but stories like yours are everywhere. I remember a time when hospitals actually took care of people. Your wife and family are in my prayers as well. I hope her recovery is a quick one and she will soon be pain free.
Thank you for the majestic photo of the moose!
How awful. Clearly her medications were not effective. I so glad to read that she is doing better now.
When my sister got out of surgery, they sent her home with a prescription of hydro-codeine. It dulled the pain, but made her so nauseous she could not keep down her food. Thank god, our angel mother was willing to drive all day to be with her, and had saved two Darvocet capsules from the time she (my mother) had sprained her wrist. One of the Darvocet capsules meant that my sister was able to keep down some soup and crackers, and get some rest that night. The next day, we moved heaven and earth to get her a new prescription.
Grandma Nancy is right. Our healthcare system should be re-thought from the ground up.
I'm so glad Margie is feeling better now. That sounds like a hellacious ordeal for everyone, especially her.
I'm appalled that the hospital would not suggest that you bring her in- around here, she would be admitted for pain control. I can understand them not wanting to do much advice on the phone- but that can legally be done too, with protocols to advise people, and the calls recorded. Anyone with that amount of pain needs to be seen, and while examinations can cause pain (and why the heck couldn't they start an IV and medicate her for pain before they do a thorough evaluation?) but it sounds like these people just didn't care.
Thank you, everybody.
I feel so sad reading this. I am so sorry that you all especially Margie have to go through these untold ordeal. May she be completely healed by God's grace and return to your happy home where everything is joyful.
Bill,
I am so sorry to hear of your Margie's continuing ordeal. I hope the pain stays managed for good. I have been through this with my husband (3 ruptured discs), and I so sympathize with you. Many blessings coming to you and Margie ...
Keli'i
Bill,
I hope that Margie is on the road to recovery. I winced while reading of her pain, but I think it was a wise decision to keep her away from the hospital. I am glad she is recovering.
Frances