Wealthy philanthropist sought: please provide resume; car breaks down in the rain, man stands in doorway where free people used to stand and pee
Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 7:07AM 
Despite Friday's disappointment, we finally did get Kalib to the Alaska State Fair - on Saturday, the same day that he drank a milk shake for breakfast and I took the bike ride described in parts one and two.*
It was beautiful, sunny, day and the fair was crowded and we had to park a long ways away from the entrance. This beautiful young woman took our five dollars and gave us a yellow ticket to put on the dash board. I cannot remember her name, but it started with a "C" and she spoke with a strong southern accent.
She was a very empathetic person and she saw my frustration and knew that I needed to talk. "What's the matter, dear?" she twanged sympathetically.
"Oh, it's this damn blog I said." And then, for the next half hour, as Kalib, Lavina and Jacob grew very impatient with me and the miles-long line of agitated drivers that piled up behind me honked their horns, rolled down their windows, extended select fingers and shouted epithets, she listened as I lamented.
I told her of the great potential of this blog, but how I am always thwarted from reaching it by the need to make a living, how the only blogging that I ever get to do is to take a few pictures when I walk or ride my bike, or drive to a coffee break, take my wife into Anchorage to the hospital - things like that.
"I need a philanthropist," I told her.
"Maybe I can be your philanthropist. I always wanted to be one of those," she smiled, as an angry man came running over. "How much do you need, Hon?"
"Oh, not much," I said. "A million dollars would be nice."
"Oh, my!" she lamented in her pleasant drawl. "I don't have a million! But would this help?"
She then held up the fan of parking fees that you see here.
"Sure!" I said.
Being of a kind and generous heart, she handed the day's parking take to me. Unfortunately, the running man was her supervisor and he had come over to find out what the delay was. When he saw her hand me the money, he fired her on the spot and pointed me out to the State Trooper who had completely failed to unsnarl the traffic behind us. "Arrest that man! And the toddler with him!" the supervisor shouted. " The trooper tried, too, but I gunned it, weaved through the parked cars and the screaming, teeming, fleeing crowd, ditched him and found another lot to park in.
Fortunately, I already had the yellow ticket, so it was all right.**
;)
;)
As for today, I pretty much spent it right here, where I sit right now, in my office at the side of my house, in front of my computer, working on my big 96 page project, plus another one that has interrupted it with an earlier deadline.
No matter what, though, I will always ride my bike, or walk, or ski, or do something to get out of the house and into the air. Today, it was my bike.
As I pedaled through the rain, on the roller coaster park of the Lucille bike trail, I spotted these two guys, both obviously trying to pretend that if they peered under the hood long enough and made the proper wise statements, they could get that car going.
Normally, I do not stop but take my pictures as I pedal, but I had reached the very top of the highest and steepest of the roller-coaster hills, so I stopped, took the picture, and then took off again. I hadn't gone three feet before I inexplicably lost control of the bike. That's when I took the inset picture.
Fortunately, I regained control before I plunged down onto Lucille Street. I pedaled on, wondering what the outcome would have been had I come down on my artificial shoulder, in front of a big truck.
;)
A little further down Lucille, I saw this guy standing in the doorway to this apartment building. I hold nothing against anyone who lives here, but this structure is a great annoyance to me. Not so long ago, the building and the parking lot was woods. And sometimes, when I would be walking down Lucille I would realize that I needed to pee.
So I would just step off the trail and walk into these woods, find a secluded spot and take care of the matter.
And now this apartment building sits there. And this kind of thing has happened all up and down Lucille Street.
Every day, Wasillans lose more and more of the freedoms that we once took for granted.
* I will try to make Kalib's great fair adventure the subject of my next post.
** It's possible that I may have employed a bit of literary license here.
Reader Comments (6)
Tongue firmly in your cheek today? :-) I'm shocked, shocked! that you would pee in the woods like a ... deer, or bear, or wolf! What's the world coming to!?
Giggling!
Er. Uh. Male Wasillans lose more and more of their freedoms. I'm no stranger to taking a pee in the back country. (I had a job that more or less required it...) but men just sort of stop walking and whizz... we women still require jingweeds. It doesn't matter where there new building has gone up, as long as we got our tall grass, we're good to go. No pun intended.
Your trip to the fair was quite an adventure. Although if your fair is like our fair, by the time you were done at the fair, that fan of money was gone anyway.
I had to laugh.....but these past few days I would trade your pavement for our roads with the deep potholes and people driving like drunks avoiding these holes on our streets...the sign of winter drawing near.
Let me know when you find that rich philanthropist. I would like to work out of my home on the tundra with solar panels and the wind energy.
Oh how I wish I could come and share a bike ride with my friend in Alaska. I imagine we would just gab all the way and be absorbed by the beauty of it all.
Hugs my friend .... Lindy
It has come to the attention of the Alaska Literary Licensing Authority (ALLA) that your literary license has expired. Please be advised that there are severe penalties for unlicensed whoppers, almost as severe as misappropriating state funds and evading a peace officer, and you are advised to immediately submit your license renewal form, together with the renewal fee of $.02 immediately. Please note that this is an ordinary literary license. If your purpose is to deceive members of the general public who are gullible enough to swallow your misrepresentations, a General Unlimited Lying and Prevarication Permit (GULPP) is available from the Governor's Office upon special request, with terms to be negotiated privately.