Birth of Jobe Atene Hess, Part 1*: Three long, long, weeks of seemingly unending labor come to a sudden end

About 2:34 AM, just as I was finally drifting into that strange world that precedes sleep where one's conscious thoughts begin to blend with dreamlike images, I heard the family phone ring in the living room. I did not want to get up and answer it. It would not be the first time that I have answered a call in the middle of the night only to have it be a wrong number.

But... we had been waiting weeks now for a call to come from Jacob and Lavina to tell us that it was time. Yet... most of their calls these days come on my cell or Margie's and surely they know that at night, it is our cell phones that we are going to be close to...

...however... we also sometimes get late night calls from Rex, due to the heartbreak and turmoil that he is undergoing as a result of Stephanie having picked up and left. For reasons that I will not explore here, this past week has been exceptionally tough. Yet... Rex also calls our cell phones.

So I did not want to get up and answer the phone, just to hear a stranger ask for Bernadette or Bernard. Then I heard voicemail come on, followed by the sound of a male voice leaving a long message. The phone was too far away and the voice too muffled for me to recognize it or make out the words.

I knew I could not ignore it, so I gently pushed Jim, my good black cat buddy, off the side of my chest, opened the door, plodded down the hall into the living room, to the phone and hit "play."

It was Jacob. Lavina's water had broke. Her contractions had suddenly sped up to one minute apart. Jacob was about to take her to the hospital.

So I headed back down the hall towards our room and was surprised to see light slipping out from under our bedroom door into the hallway. I opened the door and found Margie standing by my bed, desperately struggling with my iPhone. She has not learned how to unlock it and by the time I could get to her and take the phone, Jacob had hung up.

Now, I heard the office phone that I keep in the living room begin to ring.

Yep. You guessed it, before I could get to it the call ended. This was okay, because next Margie's cell phone, which she has keeps by the bed when she sleeps, began to ring and she knows perfectly well how to operate that phone, so she picked it up and talked to Jacob.

Just over an hour later, I dropped Margie off at Jacob and Lavina's house so that she could stay with the sleeping Kalib and Gracie, picked Laverne up so that she could be with her sister and drove to Providence Hospital.

There, Laverne and I found them, in the delivery room, Jacob by her side as Lavina suffered the contractions and pains that precede childbirth.

She had dilated to five. As I certain most of my readers know, 10 is the number when the baby generally comes.

The rapidly thumping sound of the baby's amplified heartbeat filled the room. Sometimes, it sped up and the pitch seemed to increase, like a crescendo rising and then it would slow down and come down. I have experienced this before, so I did not let it worry me. Lavina's soft, yet sharp, painful little cries and moans accompanied the heartbeat.

A nurse came in and asked Lavina, "On a scale of 1 to ten, ten being the most severe pain that you can imagine and 1 being no pain, what would you say your pain level is?"

"Eight or nine," Lavina answered.

Lavina and Jacob were not alone, of course. Caleb had stepped into the room just minutes after Laverne and I had arrived. 

I asked the nurse for her best guess as to how much time we had. Margie and I had tried to call the rest of our children, but had reached no one.

I was particularly concerned about Rex and thought maybe, if the nurse were to say, "oh, it will be hours yet," I would drive over and wake him and Melanie myself. I would make certain everybody was okay.

"There's no saying," the nurse answered. "This is her second baby, it could happen at anytime. I've got a feeling it will be awhile, though."

Before Kalib was born, a nurse told Margie and I to go get some sleep, as it would be many hours yet before the baby came. Jacob and Lavina lived in a nearby apartment at that time, so Margie and I had gone to their place and made ourselves comfortable on their long, L-shaped couch.

Very soon, the phone had rang. Lavina had already begun to deliver. So we missed the birth of Kalib.

I did not want to miss this birth. I decided I had better stay put and just trust that everybody was okay and they would get the messages soon. 

Lavina and Jacob, waiting for their new baby.

Jacob and Lavina. You can see how tough it is on Jacob. 

Yet, here's the thing we fathers who accompany our women to childbirth always know - however tough it gets on us, we don't even know. We can't know. We want to know, but we can't.

We can only be grateful, and do what we can to help the woman get through the ordeal that our past supreme pleasure now demands of her.

So Jacob gives Lavina a back rub.

Caleb wonders why he is so tired.

Laverne reads a magazine.

Lavina bears the pain, without complaint.

At the last check, Lavina had dilated to seven. Now, the nurse came again. It appeared to me that the birth must be getting very close. It is nearing 6:00 AM.

People often speak of a once-in-a-lifetime event, like hitting a grand-slam in Wrigley Field in the bottom of the ninth with your team down by three points - yet it is conceivable that a ball-player could accomplish this twice.

But being born - emerging from the wet, red, darkness of the womb into the open air - that is truly a once-in-a-life time event. It just will not happen twice. And nothing - not one event that anyone will ever experience is more important to their life than this one. Birth is the one event that makes all others possible.

It is an event that I have photographed five times in my life - once for each of my children. I had hoped to photograph Kalib as he was lifted up to gulp his first breath of air, but it didn't happen.

Now, I hoped to photograph grandchild number two. If I got the sense that it would be too much for Lavina to have her father-in-law there, or that this was something that Jacob and Lavina should experience without a parent, then I would leave.

But I hoped to stay and get that picture, to make a record of this once-in-a-lifetime moment, the likes of which simply would not exist if I didn't take it.

Then a moment came when a nurse began to usher people who didn't need to be there out. I was reluctant to leave, but was told that all that was happening was that Lavina needed to use the restroom and naturally wanted privacy.

So I stepped out, along with Caleb, who said he was going to search the hospital coffee and asked that I call him if something were to happen. I still hoped to return for that once-in-a-beginning-lifetime moment.

That's Natalie, Lavina's good friend and Maid of Honor, kneeling on the floor. She had accidently fell asleep atop her phone and did not hear it when it first rang, but still had arrived just in time.

I had not been out for more than just minutes when Jacob suddenly appeared, walking, his eyes wide with wonder. He had a little camera in his hand and on it was a picture of a new baby. "You have a new grandson, grampa," he said. "When she went to lay back down, the baby just popped out."

Laverne came out into the waiting area and started making phone calls to her mother and sisters in Arizona.

So there you have it - Lavina spent three weeks in labor and when the moment came, the baby just popped out, catching everybody in the delivery room by surprise.

I saw this piece of stained glass hanging in the nurses station. I wondered - did it represent all mothers and babies? Or was it the Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus? Providence is a Catholic hospital, so I think it is probably Mary and Jesus.

Even so, it could still represent every mother and every baby.

Now we had to wait outside the delivery room while Lavina, baby, and all that needed to be was cleaned up.

I looked at the closed door and, although I was a little disappointed, I felt okay that I was on this side of it. This is the side of the door that grandfathers have almost always been on. In fact, until my generation in America, this was the side that even fathers had been on - and not just for the birth, but even the labor.

How about all those old black and white movies, where the expectant fathers are all gathered together in a smoke-filled hospital waiting room, passing cigarettes around?

I was privileged just to be here.

I heard that old song from the early '60's in my head, in the voice of The Brothers Four: 'twas so good to be young then, to be close to the earth and to stand by your wife at the moment of birth."

I had stood by my wife five times for such a moment. Indeed, it had been good.

And now our oldest son had stood by his wife for the second time.

I stood quiet and listened and then I heard it: a powerful, angry, little cry, spurting out in bursts, each one the length of a rapid exhalation, punctuated by the inhalation.

My second grandson.

I had convinced myself that he would be a girl.

But he was not.

He was a boy.

Which means, according to their own master plan, that Jacob and Lavina must try yet again to make a granddaughter for us.

I hate to say it, but I clean forgot that Caleb, who was still wandering about the hospital but finding no coffee,  had asked me to call him. It was about 6:30 AM now and the hospital coffee shops had yet to open.

Laverne leaned against the wall, opposite the delivery room.

Then the door began to open, and the head of a shadow slipped out into the hallway. It was time for me to go in and meet my new grandson.

*I hope to have Parts 2 and 3 both posted before Sunday is over. Then you will know something of our new grandson, and you will see how Kalib reacted when he first met his little brother.

I say "hope" because I had hoped to have both posted Saturday, along with this, but Margie and I drove into Anchorage planning to make a one hour visit with our new grandson and wound up staying well into the night. 

Part of me wants to just keep going and get both parts done before I go to bed, but it is 3:12 AM and I have yet to recover and Jacob, Lavina and Family are coming out tomorrow to perform a little ceremony mandated by Navajo spirituality, so I think I had better see if I can get some sleep before I delve into parts 2 and 3.

To all those who have comments and questions the past few days, I apologize for my delay in responding, but I will.

Comments

[emilypeacock]

Thanks for sharing the miracle.

[WhiteStone]

Lavinia, even in the depths of labor, looks so beautiful. God gives us such great gifts in our children. God bless this new baby with health, wisdom, strength, love.

[aview999]

Thank you Bill. I know your a Proud Grandpa today!!

[twain12]

what a wonderful event

[NgrandmaY]

Congratulations to all of you! A wonderful happy event and beautiful pictures.
Thank-you for sharing them with us.

[phoebes-in-santa fe]

Oh, two boys! That's so great. I have two sons, ages 28 and 30, and they have always been very close. Each other's best friend. Enjoy them.

I don't know, thinking back, if I would have wanted so many people in my labor and birthing room. But, things are different now, I guess. Just enjoy your new grandson.

[Southeast]

Thank you for sharing this wonderful event. Beautiful and priceless.

[Autumn]

I am in awe of Lavinia and her quiet strength. I love how you captured this moment in time. The pictures in this post are very moving, I'm excited to see the next two installments.

[Shaela]

What a beautiful and touching story. And some incredibly powerful images. I was literally brought to tears.

[Dorothy]

Congratulations Bill, Marge and family!!

[Rocksee]

So happy for all of you!! Welcome to the world Jobe! Congrats to Lavina, Jacob and Kalib!

[ManxMamma]

Best wishes to your family. What a joy to welcome a new member!

[Mikey]

Oh, this is so beautiful. I'm so glad you're sharing it with us. That picture of them holdings hands is priceless. As is the one with the head held in hands. Oh, they're all good! You are truly a great storyteller! More! More!

[linmc]

Best wishes to you and your entire familly and thank you for sharing such a special event in your familys life .

[Michelle]

Very happy for you and your family.

[Wynette]

Congratulations! I just started reading your blog and I love it. Best wishes to your new grandson and your whole family!!!!! :)

[CynthiaC54]

A couple of times this week, I woke up in the middle of the night and my first thought was to say a prayer for Lavina and the baby. Isn't it funny -- as the world gets smaller, our circle gets larger.

It's easy to shrug off "internet friends." You've never met them -- if you ran into them in Walmart, you wouldn't know them from Adam's house cat. But when people share real, day-to-day life with each other, they really can become friends. It's about caring and prayers and speaking your truth.

Thank you, Bill -- and thanks to Margie, Lavina and Jacob, and all the rest of your family for allowing us to share these bits of wonder in your lives. We're all blessed. This is one of those times I'm reminded, loud and clear, that the stranger in Walmart could be my friend, but for a tiny wrinkle somewhere in time. We are all family.

Give beautiful Lavina a hug from Louisville -- having pushed out three little ones. I have tremendous respect for the strength her work requires.

[Miss2133]

Yoi, congratulations to the proud Aapa and Aaka, parents and the new little aapiyaq.

[Bush Babe]

Wow Bill. That was powerful stuff - an amazing keepsake for your grandson. I love knowing each moment of what you felt as a special onlooker... to be honest I don't think I could have had my father-in-law in the room with us, but then he is not a photographer!!

Hope you slept soundly and contentedly after this momentous event.
:-)
BB

[Patrick - Palingates]

Bill,

congratulations to all of you! Thanks a lot for the amazing pictures and the amazing story. Thanks to your moving report, it's feels like we all "were there" when Jobe was born.

[Wasilla, Alaska, by 300]

Again - thanks to everybody. It means a great deal to me to have so many leave good wishes with us.