Sylvia Carlsson - the woman who gave me my start in Alaska; contemplating the future of this blog, part 3
Tuesday, February 1, 2011 at 2:15PM 
Memorial services for Sylvia Carlsson were held at the Alaska Native Heritage Center and were presided over by the Alaska Native Sisterhood.
In the final years of her life, Sylvia Carlsson became well known for her letters to the Editor of the Anchorage Daily News, which appeared on a regular basis. This is her final letter, published January 21, 2011 - just two days before she died unexpectedly at the age of 76:
Anybody can destroy; ability to create valued
Following the State of the Union address, some Republican and tea party members of Congress will fall into full assault mode and will begin battering the health care legislation signed into law in 2010. They've dubbed it "Obamacare" and labels not fit to mention. The legislation is actually entitled the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act or Public Law 111-148, but it is rarely referred to by its proper title in any of the media offerings -- "Obamacare" is more sensational maybe?
A few of the newly minted members of Congress seem to view themselves as foot soldiers specifically elected to wreak havoc on anything with President Obama's name on it, especially the PPAHCA. At least that's the impression I'm getting from interviews on the tube and in print.
Is there anything in the PPAHCA that could have helped the deranged shooter in Tucson? That question has yet to be asked.
When We the People begin electing members to Congress to destroy rather than create law, are we in trouble? Answer that question for yourself.
-- Sylvia Carlsson
I knew Sylvia for a different reason. I was a homeless person when I met her, and I had a homeless family. But I also had a dream - to make a life in Alaska for my family and me, to move out of the two tiny tents in which we endured the almost constant rain of the summer of 1981 into a house or apartment and to get to know something about this place they call Alaska.
It was Sylvia Carlsson, then President and Publisher of the Tundra Times who made it possible for me to begin to live that dream. She gave me my first and only non-freelance job in Alaska when, working in conjunction with Linda Lord-Jenkins, she hired me to come on as a reporter and photographer.
I worked there for 3.5 years and in that time, thanks largely to connections that enabled Sylvia to oversee agreements with the airline companies to provide me free transportation in exchange for ad space, I was able to do work in every region of Alaska, from the rain forests of Southeast, the wind-blasted volcanic islands of the Aleutian Chain, the Southwest Y-K delta, the Interior and, of course, the Arctic.
It was great fun and a big learning adventure. At times along the way, Sylvia backed me up against powerful individuals and organizations within her own Native community. Other times, we disagreed, and strongly so.
None of what I have done would have happened had Sylvia not hired me - not only my work for Tundra Times, but there would have been no Uiñiq magazine, no Alaska's Village Voices as I once shaped it - so many things.
So, when her niece and my good friend Diane Benson informed me that Sylvia, Tlingit, of the Raven Clan, had passed away, I made certain to attend her memorial service at the Alaska Native Heritage Center. There, I found her ashes on a small table alongside her picture.
I paid her my respects and gave her a Gunalchéesh, "thank you" in Tlingit, for hiring me and for giving me this great opportunity.
As Margie walks into one of the many campsites that we stayed in during the two months between the day we arrived in Alaska and when I was hired on at the Tundra Times, Caleb plays in the dirt. Melanie and Jacob visit in the master tent. Summer, 1981.
By June of 1981, it had become clear to me that if I was ever to realize my dream of making a life in what I knew to be my spiritual home - Alaska - I could wait no longer. I could not sit around until someone in Alaska gave me a job, I could not wait until a pile of money sufficient to finance the move and transition from Arizona to Alaska fell upon me. I had to go to Alaska and I had to go right then. I had dreamt long enough. It was time to take action - time to go.
So Margie and I held a yard sale, sold most all that we owned and then packed what was left on top of and into our Volkswagen Rabbit along with two tiny tents and our children, who then numbered four, and hit the road north.
Among those who loved us, many gave me good and loving council - "don't go!" You are not a kid anymore - you are a man with a wife and four children - a baby daughter, for hell's sake! Put your childish dreams behind you and be a man - be responsible, don't go!
Alaska is a harsh place. You're not prepared. Alaska will be cruel to you. Alaska will show you no mercy.
When we reached Salt Lake City, we stopped to visit my folks for a week or so. Rex Jr, my oldest brother, said he had shown my National Geographic work to a friend of his at the Salt Lake Tribune and she had a job there, waiting for me. He gave me her number and told me to call her.
I did not call. I loaded the family back into the car and pointed the Rabbit north, once again. "You'll turn around and come back before you reach the Canadian border," Dad told me just before we pulled out of his driveway. I called him from Canada. "You'll turn around and come back before you ever get to Alaska," he predicted.
Next, I called him from Tok, Alaska, just on this side of border from the Yukon Territory. "You'll be back within a year," he said.
That was almost 30 years ago.
When I drove across the border from the Yukon Territory on July 14 - my 31st birthday - and looked out at Alaska, at big, wild, country that I had never before seen, country in which I knew no one - hard, cold, country where no job awaited me, I felt this warm feeling of exquisite peace. I felt that finally, after having spent 31 years wandering in that wilderness called the Lower 48, I had come home.
It has long been my contention that although I was born in the city of Ogden, Utah, I have been an Alaskan since birth - it's just that I was born into exile.
I wondered why it took me exactly 31 years to get here, but it was better to have arrived late than not at all.
Rex, doing his art at the picnic table that serves as a tie down stake for the tent he sleeps in. Summer, 1981.
When I first got into the internet, and when I first saw blogs, I had this feeling that both had been made and created just for me. Basically, I had made a career of creating publications that I wrote, photographed and designed on contract, and I had longed to create my own publication.
I even tried it once, but the effort went nowhere. Even though I have spent 29 years of my 35 year career in business for myself, I am not a business man. I always put what I want to do ahead of money, and so tend to often wind up short. The expense of keeping a high-quality paper publication going while I figured out how to fund it was beyond my resource. I published one issue and then the thing died.
But with the internet - with a blog - the expense of producing and distributing a publication with a potential worldwide audience would be nominal.
Yet, I hestitated for over a decade. I feared that if I put my photos on the internet, people would steal them, put them to unauthorized use. In fact, people had already done so, but I feared that on the internet, the problem could prove severe.
So, as badly as I wanted to launch an internet publication, I didn't.
Too bad. If I had have done so, perhaps I could have figured it out long before now. Perhaps by now, I would have a self-sustaining publication going. There are a good number of these out there, you - many produced by individuals, most of whom seem to have jumped in and built there readership and found their support before there were a billion blogs to compete with.
I don't think "a billion blogs" is much of an exaggeration at all.
But because of this fear of theft, I waited until it became clear to me that the entire photographic world was moving online, anyway. Not just the young up and comers, but even the greatest known works by the greatest masters were coming online.
So a bit of theft and appropriation would just have to be tolerated. If something major were to happen, there are always the courts.
To all my Facebook friends - be assured, none of this applies to you. It gives me pleasure when you place my pictures on your wall, or use them as your profile pic - so long as my copyright mark remains and credit is given. I liken this to when I step into people's houses and find my pictures, clipped from magazines and newspapers, hanging on the wall.
Rex visits Melanie in the master tent. The summer of 1981 was the wettest on record to that time. It rained almost every day, sometimes all day and all night, too.
Well, damnit. I have again surpassed my alloted blogging time today and once again have done so much rambling that I have not gotten down to the main point of this "Contemplating the future of this blog" thing.
So I will have to do a part 4.
From comments that I receive, both here and in Facebook, I see that some of my readers still fear that one of the things that I am contemplating is to shut down the blog entirely.
No - no, not all.
I see this blog, and the electronic magazine that I plan to add to it, just like I saw Alaska after I drove across the border on the Al-Can with my family. I was looking at my future - Alaska. My past was literally behind me. I would still make short returns back into that past. The places and people who had been important to my life down south would continue to be so. From time to time, I would go down there and we would get together and do things.
Sometimes, I would go to places outside Alaska where I had never been - but my spirtual home was now my physical home and would remain so. I had almost no money, no home, but I had desire. I did not know where the money would come from. I knew that it would come and it did - never enough to make it easy, but enough somehow to always carry on.
Now, this blog, and electronic publishing - this is what is before me. This is my future. I will still make my visits back into paper, but this world of electronic publishing is where I am and I am only going deeper. Once again, I lack all but marginal resources and I do not know where sufficient resources are going to come from. The resources will come, though, I know it.
And you readers - you have encouraged, by coming and by your support.
Tomorrow, I will see if I can do what I was going to do today so that I can close out this series.
Two Ravens, in honor of Sylvia Carlsson of the Raven Clan. Thank you again, Sylvia, for the many good things that you made possible in my life.
Reader Comments (8)
What a great post and great pictures, as always. What a tremendous journey you've made and it's not over yet. A new frontier lays ahead for all of us.
Even print magazines are tough to keep going. I've published three and they all lasted about 10 years apiece. Lately I've been thinking that the 10-year mark has more to do with my own stamina rather than anything about the magazines themselves, since the last one was picked up by its editor - sort of - and is approaching its 20th year under his hand. Publishing magazines and books is a thrill, though, so keep your vision, Bill, and realize your dream.
Enjoyed your post today!!! I'm quite tardy with my wallpaper/ screensaver payments ;) One coming right up.
Thank you, Bill.
One fine day I clicked on a link from another Alaskan blog and it took me here. That was in 2008, when I lived in another place, when my dog was still alive and my daughter was still in high school. I am a lurker by nature, just never usually comment - until now. Through your blog I've had glimpses of an authentic life, gained a new perspective on Wasilla and a greater awareness of native culture and the beauty of rural Alaska. My thank you is so long overdue. It's a good thing you don't charge a fine like the library does. I probably couldn't afford it and you'd have to revoke my privileges. You have a beautiful family and I so enjoy it when you write about them. Mostly I enjoy how you revel in them. Today's post took my breath away. Thank you Bill.
Let's chat about that spatula for just a moment. My daughter went through a time when she would not sleep or leave home without her can of soup in hand. Most children seemed to have soft blankies, or stuffed animals. Weirdos that we are, we had a can of Campbell soup.
One day I tried to take the can of soup away and my daughter was not having any of it. She wailed on about the kids. What kids? The kids on the label! That was the attraction - she liked their clothes and their hair. So we took off the label and laminated it. She still has it.
Regarding Parts 1-3, I have one word for you: Autobiography. I could add a few more if you'd like: Movie Rights. I for one always wonder about your life, how you came to be the Bill you are today.
Touching! Such a wonderful journey till date and still lots to know about you! in LOVE with the black and white pics of Rex,Mel and other. I tried to zoom in and check if I could see Margie and recognize her :) :) Unlucky though!
waiting for Part 4 :)
-Suji
Always fun to see pictures of our youth, funny we all grew up in front of the camera but pictures of our youth pre cats (except maybe the girls) all seem to be hidden away in an assortment of boxes.
Regarding the blog and other business avenues I often wonder when I go thru AK shops and such and look at all the post cards, calendars and posters you are completely missing a market for some of your photos. We know you have a huge stockpile of pictures, I think if you have a seperate tab on the blog, or store you could sell items like these and perhaps screen savers and signed copies of your book, signed prints, etc. Would it be enough to support all your work, I don't know but it could supplement the income and you could use your existing stock and your ever increasing photo stock.
Love
~Jay Bop
Loved this post. I like the ideas Joan and JfH offered. Have longed to hear the story of your life. To see it through your photography would be the 'cats meow'..