Kalib nearly loses fingers to IHOP fan;* gas war rages

After today's Sunday breakfast at IHOP, Kalib noticed the fan spinning over Dad's head.
Dad lifted Kalib up for a better look. Kalib reached for the fan blades, which were spinning at 532 miles per-hour. "Jacob! Jacob!" everybody at the table began to scream.
Jacob did not appreciate the implication.
*I JOKES! I JOKES!
The new Valley Country Store at the corner of Seldon and Church continues its gas war. Elsewhere in Wasilla, the usual price seems to be $2.59. Curious, though, how this sign at the corner of Seldon and Lucille had been toppled. No wind, either. It has been quite still.
Undaunted, Valley has established a new front at the corner of Church and Spruce. This is all pretty earth-shaking news and it is happening right here, in Wasilla, Alaska.