Anchorage's M.A. Hot Dogs Mike Anderson head to be burned by L.A. Laker Cap; Hot Dog Jeep driver gains no advantage
Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 3:06PM ;)
My last stop in Anchorage was Stewart's Photo and when I stepped out the door, I felt pretty hungry. I had been wondering where I should pick up lunch before heading home, but suddenly my nose was struck by the wonderful aroma of hot dogs and onions on the grill.
The scent came from M.A. Hot Dogs, an outdoor stand that operates only during the time of light. All indecision left me - I knew that was where I had to go. There is no lunch to be had in Anchorage that I enjoy more than M.A. Hot Dogs. M.A. has reindeer dogs, M.A. has beef dogs, M.A. has Polish dogs, Kosher dogs, all cooked just like you see here and all, oh, so good!
The guy behind me ordered his reindeer dog with no onions.
"You want no onions, tripled?" owner Mike Anderson asked him. "Okay, that'll be no onions, tripled."
The guy, who appeared to be a tourist, looked flummoxed. "No," he protested. "I don't want the onions tripled. I want no onions at all."
"Right," Anderson agreed, "no onions tripled."
The guy didn't get it, but he didn't get onions, either, so I hope he was happy.
;)
Another guy asked Anderson who he had betted on during the NBA playoffs, the Boston Celtics or the L.A. Lakers. Anderson answered that he was going to have to wear a Laker cap for a full-day. He had no choice. You lose a bet, you lose a bet. "That's going to burn a hole right through my head," he said.
About that time, these two little dogs came walking by as another observed from a parked truck.
I should note that Anderson has sign posted under his umbrella boasting that his hot dogs have been voted best in Anchorage, by M.A. Hot Dogs.
;)
After I left M.A. Hot Dogs, still savoring my lunch, I traveled west down Fourth Avenue toward Cook Inlet for a couple of blocks, then took a left until I came to Sixth Avenue, then turned east onto the three one-way lanes to begin the drive back to Wasilla.
I had barely entered the middle lane on Sixth when this pretty red jeep raced up behind me, practically ran atop my bumper, then careened around me to the right. The driver then shot past me and jerked into the small space that separated me from the driver ahead. In an instant, he was on that driver's tail and then he careened around him as well.
I watched in amazement, wondering why no cop ever seems to be present when this kind of thing is happening, as he careened, weaved and jerked his way through the traffic ahead, charging back and forth across all three lanes of traffic.
But you know what? Without ever speeding up or doing anything to try to cut the distance between us, but just riding with traffic, I found myself right alongside him about two miles down the road and took this picture.
What this image does not show is that the driver is swaying from the left to the right in his lane, looking for the next chance to careen his way around somebody and blast forward. I am now in the left lane, he is in the middle.
He has been driving like this for two miles or so and has gained no advantage.
;)
Finally, he gets his break, races around the pickup truck and speeds ahead of all the rest of us. If you were to click on this picture and blow it up, you would barely be able to make out a traffic light up ahead. The light was red when I reached it and, yes, there was this guy, sitting there waiting, just one car length ahead of me.
When the light turned green, he shot off again, zagging, zigging, doing all that he could to pass everyone whom it was possible to pass. When we reached the next light, same thing - there he was, one car length ahead.
The next light was the last traffic light in Anchorage, so I thought maybe he would now zoom down the highway, zigging in and out of traffic and finally leave me behind.
This didn't happen. Not far down the road, he took an exit off the highway into an Anchorage neighborhood. By now, I had observed his antics for a good four miles or more and he had gained no practical advantage at all - maybe two car lengths, max.
ps: The Gold Mint hike is still coming - Wednesday, not later than noon. I hope.
Reader Comments (10)
My boy Dylan drives a pretty red jeep, a ragtop. I was outraged to think that he might be in Wasilla riding your bumper, and was prepared to give him a piece of my mind. Luckily, your skill as a photographer managed to save him, as I could tell that it was him behind the wheel.
I'm not sure what the poor tourist did not understand. I have never had a reindeer dog in all my life, but if I did, I'd get it with triple no onions too. If I was living dangerously, I might even quadruple the no onions.
I need to quit messing around on the computer and get back to my books. I'm heartily sick of my books. I think that like to have the rest of the summer with no classes. In fact, I want triple no classes, by golly. I need a break.
NOT him behind the wheel.
Gads. Quadruple no classes for the rest of the summer please.
As a die-hard Celtics fan I saw the title of this story and almost couldnt bring myself to read it. Phooey on those Lakers, and I feel bad that Mike actually had to wear such a horrid thing for a day!
Maybe Mike can take his sharpie, and like Sistah Sarah did, black out the Lakers name on the cap. Might help some. Gawk, Lakers - booo. I'm drooling from just looking at those hot dogs. Give me triple onions please. :-)
Ah, ragtop, top down, driving erratically and too fast (in a small Jeep which have known short wheel base and center of gravity issues when turning quickly).
Darwin takes care of those folks in good time. I always place my faith in Darwin; he doesn't suffer fools.
Keeps my blood pressure down when encountering these folks, knowing that Darwin has my back :-)
As a die hard Lakers fan I'm sure wearing the hat gave the hot dog man enough zen to carry him though the summer!
greatly enjoyed your moving post about father's day and your wanderlust. very sad about randy's final departure so soon after your wedding. good man. great story about your dad and his pepsi-lovin. and, yes, never underestimate the power of grilled onions - or pepper and onions on any sort of sandwich. so now you're off to photograph greenland. wow.
Oh yum!
PS: that's a horrible windshield crack...
i like your posts, even if they make me homesick. i came by way of salmonberryblood.blogspot.com
julio cortázar has a short story about being stuck in traffic, "La autopista del sur" (The Southern Thruway" (must be a british translation). your description of the red jeep guy never getting ahead reminded me of that story.